It is after much thought that I make this announcement with great seriousness.

Until I can fly to Washington and torpedo our economy, I am suspending the Donkey Show.

(I’ll see you after the debate, or townhall, or Obama informercial, or whatever this thing tonight turns out to be.)

Because there are only 40 days left before the election.

Because I can’t yell “BULLSHIT!” and “SHENANIGANS!” at the same time.

Because I don’t even know where to begin tonight.

I’m going to break with the format tonight because today’s developments have been sooo crazy. Not the typical Dubya-style crazy that we’ve grown used to over the past eight years, but, um… how to compare? Remember when Elizabeth, Indiana made the national news because some guy kept his dead mother around in the house. And kept all her dead cats in Rubbermaid containers? And he lived just up the street from our buddy James? That’s the kind of batshit crazy day this has been.

This afternoon, I was looking through the news sites, trying to find some coverage of Biden’s appearance in nearby Jeffersonville, Indiana. That’s when I started seeing headlines that didn’t make any sense to me — mentions of cancelling debates and suspending campaigns. It took a little reading to find out what was going on.

Let me see if I can recap the timeline.

At 8:30 in the ayem, the Team Obama calls Team McCain. It looks like Barry and John were talking directly to each other. Purpose of the call? A reach-out to put together a unified statement opposing Bush’s bailout in its current form. It’s a private call, because once the issue is out publicly, it’s a political football.

Obama: “Let’s do it.”

McCain: “OK. But you know, I’m kinda tanking in the polls here. How about we call off the campaigns and the debate until we get this taken care of?”

Obama: “Um, let’s do the statement. And have your campaign talk to my campaign about that other silliness.”

McCain: “(Drat!) OK, I’ll call you right back.”

Time passes. And later on, round about 2:30 or so, Team Obama sees McCain on the TV (in a recorded statement), talking about suspending his campaign. “Tomorrow morning, I will suspend my campaign and return to Washington,” he says. “I have spoken to Senator Obama and informed him of my decision and have asked him to join me.” Not a mention of Obama’s call earlier in the day. No mention of the joint statement. Just Johnny. Glory-whoring it up for all the points he can get. Vainglorious as hell.

Before we get into McCain’s absolute dorkery, what was he doing in these six hours? Huddling with his economic team? Maybe. Seeking the wisdom of experts? Probably not. But this much we do know. “[He] made it to his scheduled morning meeting with Lady Lynn de Rothschild.” Yeah, the international financier. Who can’t decide whether she lives in New York or London. The “mistress of two grand British estates.” Who hasn’t had to work at all for the past 15 years. Who considers Obama an elitist. Who called voters ‘rednecks.’ (Can you tell this woman touches a nerve in me?)

*shudder*

OK. So why postpone anything? John McCain hasn’t cast a vote in the Senate since April 8th. I think they can manage without him. Let’s go pull out a block quote for this one. Harry Reid:

This is a critical time for our country. While I appreciate that both candidates have signaled their willingness to help, Congress and the Administration have a process in place to reach a solution to this unprecedented financial crisis.

I understand that the candidates are putting together a joint statement at Senator Obama’s suggestion. But it would not be helpful at this time to have them come back during these negotiations and risk injecting presidential politics into this process or distract important talks about the future of our nation’s economy. If that changes, we will call upon them. We need leadership; not a campaign photo op.

If there were ever a time for both candidates to hold a debate before the American people about this serious challenge, it is now.

I suppose this is the kind of situation where email might come in handy. You know, I would love to show McCain videoconferencing. Not only would it blow his mind, but I’d love to see him get excited about graciously crafting a tax break for “Conjurers of sight and sound.”

Any why cancel — or even postpone the debate? Let’s be very generous and overlook the Obama-will-likely-wipe-the-debate-floor-with-McCain factor. Let’s pretend there’s some altruism to these suggestions. If McCain is confident that we can get a solution to the bailout situation by the time markets open on Monday, shouldn’t The People get to hear about it? When, in recent times, has there been a better time for a debate? They’re talking about numbers like $700 billion. If McCain wants us to take his newfound pro-regulation stance seriously, he’s going to need to dance those shoes for us a little more.

What the heck? Let’s bring in some video:

Lots of players are suggesting that a fix would be ready by the end of the week anyway? Why the kerfluffle? So McCain — who’s had so many wheels fall off in the past two weeks that the Straight Talk Express can only slide down steep hills and even then only thanks to its slimy underbelly — can stop the poll-hemorrhaging, look like the man who got deeply serious, and try to take some credit for something that will have likely happened whether or not he was around.

And now the McCain camp wants to bump Friday’s debate to next Thursday. Hmm. What an interesting, arbitrary date to choose. Let me check my calendar? Anything scheduled for that evening? Oh wait. That’s right, the Biden/Palin Vice-Presidential debate.

Why would they want to bump the VP debate? Jump to 4:30.

That’s why. Palin’s not ready. She can’t handle an interview with Katie Couric, who promised “no gotchas.” She left her assignment at home and offers to bring it in tomorrow. Sarah, as someone who did that all through high school, I know you didn’t do your homework.

Dubya’s hosting a meeting in the morning. He’s invited both Senators Obama and McCain as well as congressional leaders. Call me paraoid, but if I were Obama, I’d be checking the place out for seams in the carpets and trap door buttons on desks.

If Obama makes it out alive, I’m having trouble envisioning a scenario in which today didn’t cost McCain the election.

]]> http://donkeyshow.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/donkey-show-vii-tonight-on-a-very-special-donkey-show/feed/ 3 bobotron wdonkeyshow http://donkeyshow.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/donkey-show-vi-the-i-after-v/ http://donkeyshow.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/donkey-show-vi-the-i-after-v/#comments Wed, 24 Sep 2008 02:49:52 +0000 bobotron http://donkeyshow.wordpress.com/?p=27 ]]>

Because there are only 41 days before the election.

Because Joe Biden’s in town tomorrow.

Because I’m already hurting from the debate drinking game.

• Has McCain lost George Will?
• More like this, please.
• Par for the course on the No Talk Express: Press gets 29 seconds of access.
• McCain’s Rick Davis was paid by Freddie Mac to the very end.
• Finally, somebody’s talking about Keating. Come on press, no more free pass.
• Grand Moff Palin.

Thought of the day: Transparency. Timing. Solution. Details. Motives. Incentives. Politics. These are seven aspects of the bailout that could use a tad more fleshing out.

Because there are only 42 days left before the election.

Because my power’s back and so is my groove.

Because if Obama is the Antichrist, it’s God’s will that he come to power. Who are you to stand in God’s way?

• McCain’s “Don’t call us liars!” crybaby conference call was full of lies.
• Zero. When’s the last time you saw that number on any poll?
• Colbert and Stewart win Emmys, make a funny.
• The OBEY guy is the HOPE guy. Awesome.
• Bailout maneuvering: It’s a trap!
• It’s a View thing. Viera does a fine job on McCain.
• Handy-dandy reference chart.
• Fun stuff — McCain’s email hacked too! And the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!

Thought of the day: Over at DKos, wrapping your head around a trillion.

Because there are only 56 days left before the election.

Because I don’t get a complimentary continental breakfast.

Because they really think you’ll believe that Obama wants to teach six-year-olds how to get it on.

• McCain camp: Perverted lie. Obama camp: Zing!
• Enough with the uppity. No diggity.
• TPM has the rundown and the timeline on the “No thanks/Yes please” Bridge to Nowhere lie.
• Obama/Biden: Science to the rescue!
• In all fairness, it’s probably the way her family thinks.
• Stop messing with the polls!
• Hey kids! Share this tool with the uninformed.
• Craig Campbell: Three-star sell-out.

I’m in Mississippi on a business trip. Use this as an open thread/dumping ground for now.

And visit Cajun Boy, whose head is about to explode from pondering Trig.

Because there are only 60 days left before the election.

Because she works with her hands and nose.

Because thanks to the RNC, there are no more balloons.

• McCain’s big speech? Not so hot.
• The speech used Walter Reed … Middle School as a prop.
• They’ve lost Heart. And it’s another example of chronic behavior. I guess “rule of law” doesn’t include copyright laws.
• The RNC stepped over taboos and went back to the 9/11 well. And Olbermann calls them on it.
• OK, she didn’t sell the plane on eBay, but she put it on eBay. Story settled? Let’s move on. OH WAIT! Here comes McCain with a nosegrower.
• At the RNC, there were more mentions of the Tyrannosaurus than Afghanistan. And you thought they weren’t into science…
• And finally, John McCain’s “Houses Problem” is getting a little long in the tooth, but this is still hilarious.

Thought of the day, courtesy of commenter Devilstower at Daily Kos: “John McCain’s Theme for the Evening: I will reach across the aisle and work in a bipartisan manner with anyone who will help me enact every single item on the radical conservative wish list.”

Because there are only 61 days left before the election.

Because they’re still mopping up Rudy’s mouth-foam in St. Paul.

Because if we don’t believe Sarah Palin’s the best person for the job, the chauvinists have already won.

Here’s the story on Thursday, 9/4/08.

• Kayfabe travels through time to bring us upcoming Sarah Palin scandals.
• Wasilla by the numbers. And here’s another disturbing number.
• How about that speech? Fallows provides an analysis and the Obama camp provides a fact-check.
• One of Palin’s more memorable lines was a donation.
• And really? You’re going to pick on Obama as “community organizer”? That was 20 years ago. And it’s far from a negative. Billmon examines the dogwhistling, Bonnie provides some history, and community organizers rightfully demand an apology.
• And while we’re doing apologies, Roger Simon gives one on behalf of The Media.
• No, your TV wasn’t broken. They’re very white. They’re very white.
• Reformer? Not so much.
• And the Daily Show takes a look at binary fission. Or is it mitosis?

Thought of the day: Cindy McCain’s outfit may have topped the $300,000 mark, but Obama eats arugula. So there.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the newest Bob-net feature, probably appearing on a weeknightly basis. It’s a political news link round-up from a certain POV. See if you can guess what it is.

Welcome to the …

Because there are only 62 days left before the election.

Because some people don’t have the time to sort through all the blogs.

Because John’s getting tired of getting all these links via Google Talk.

Here’s the rundown for Wednesday, 9/3/08.

• Tonight’s RNC VP speech was written before McCain’s camp had a VP.
• McCain’s campaign manager, Steve Schmidt, of all people is the first to cast major media light on the Palin paternity rumors. Watch the video here, and don’t miss the canny comments here.
• “Palin Slashed Funding for Teen Moms”
• If her daughter were raped, Palin would “choose life.”
• The McCain camp got an FBI background check on Palin. And then they spent the summer with their uncles hunting wolverines.
• She may not have been registered, but Palin’s AIP problem lingers.
• This DKos diarist raises the specter of Special Needs Message Board Operatives for McCain.
• Wonkette’s way with words: “Every day, more terrible rumors and allegations surface about Palin’s drunken corrupt secessionist abstinence-only snowbilly reign of terror over the Great White North. And the press has the temerity to actually ask if any of this crap is true. Steve Schmidt is appalled that anyone would ask about the qualifications of a vice presidential nominee who lived near Russia once, and has four or five kids.”
• They almost lost Dr. Laura.

Thought of the day: You can like Sarah Palin but still believe she’s not the best person for the job. Yesterday, I waxed nostalgic about Jerry Reed. But I never would have wanted him in the White House.

And that’s our first Donkey Show.